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| So the show's over. Wow what a ride. Now we have fall break and I am
really welcoming it. It's too late for me to really write a whole lot,
so maybe I'll just stop here. Yeah I think I will. Sorry. I'm sure I'll
have more after this refreshing and much-needed break. Goodnight world.
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| So here I am again. "Singing in the Rain" opens a week from today, and I still don't have that ready feeling.
I am trying to figure out what I want, because there are things in my
life that are one way, and when something else comes along, more than
what I thought I deserved and better, I wonder why I had such low
expectations and want that thing. Haha obviously this is coming from a
way more specific situation, but I don't really want to go into it. I
just am scared. Scared that I am underestimating what my life could be,
then God sends these little nudges and I want what He's offering so
badly. I just need to believe it's there even when it's not - that
future that I dream about. Because you gotta dress for success. And I
need to become that woman for that man, or else what am I doing? What I
always have been, that's what.
I recently have been thinking very drastically about things; taking
them to extremes. My best friend Lindsey pointed that out to me very
nicely tonight. "You need to let yourself be happy. Content. Not way up
and way down all the time. In that way, sometimes it's good to be
grey." I love her. God bless her.
Well I better get to reading. And of course I mean reading for pleasure :)
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| So I am trying hard to not let things effect me that shouldn't. But in
the process I find myself shying away from people, because I really am
not wanting to talk about anything with them. Unless it's a good friend
that I can just do and talk about nothing with. But today as I was
walking back from chapel I realized I was following a girl I know. I
have known her for two years now and she is in a class with me. I was
walking right behind her and didn't say anything, just because I didn't
want to talk. Then I realized that was probably a mistake when we got
closer to the gate of the apt. building we both live in, because she
had to slow down and do the combination, then I was waiting right behind
her, then she held the door open for me and saw me. Now I know she knew
there was a person behind her the whole time. I wonder what she
thought when I didn't talk to her on purpose. Oh well.
I have rehearsal tonight. Hopefully I don't get too stressed out. I need to have more confidence that I can do this part.
Monday's almost over, everybody. Hang in there.
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| So today
between rehearsals I started a xanga...obviously. I am excited because
I will get to keep up with people who are far away and also let
them know what's going on with me. Not too much exciting to post right
now, but stay faithful! haha. there WILL be good stuff. i am also going
to have a prayer list on here if there is anyone aching to pray longer than they already do!
have a good weekend, all!
~Shannon
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